Wedding Vows…making a wedding into a marriage for life…

When I married my husband, I gave deep thought to the vows that we would exchange.  The regular vows that I have heard so many times didn’t seem quite appropriate.  I didn’t feel that they fit what marriage was really about.  So after alot of deep thought, I wrote our own Wedding Vows/Ceremony in total including what the pastor what was to say to us.

The pastor had been performing weddings for over 50 years.  When I asked him if I could do this, he hesitated and said he would like to approve them before he would consent.  He also stipulated a counselling session to be had before he would agree to preforming the ceremony so that he could feel certain that both parties were mature and were coming into the marriage for the right reasons and of sound mind.

After reading the vows that I wrote, he said to me, young woman, you have no need for counselling.  For you truly know what marriage is meant to be in the eyes of God.  And he then asked me if he could continue to use the vows I wrote for every wedding he did in the future.  I was beyond astonished.  Even though he was just about to retire, his words meant so much to me.

Anyway, this is what I put together.  I hope it reminds you of what is truly important in your own marriage, or gives you a guide when you are looking for a mate to marry in the future.

Opening Words

 

David and Amber it is this day you make a giant step of courage, of commitment, to communicate with love, to understand and grow. When a commitment this strong is made by two people, the force of that commitment, of that love, of that courage, reaches out and touches all of us around you, so that our lives are changed and we share a part of your love. Like a stone dropped in a still pond, the ripples of the love from this celebration extends and changes the world we live in.

 

Readings

 

In our long history we have never discovered a better way of life than sharing it together in love in a lasting and responsible way. This arrangement seems to meet our deepest human needs for love and companionship, for someone with whom we can share in an intimate and trusting way all of the hopes and joy and dreams of life. But real love David and Amber is something beyond the warmth and glow, the excitement and romance of being deeply in love. It is caring as much about the welfare and happiness of your marriage partner as about your own. Real love is not total absorption into each other, it is looking outward in the same direction together. Love makes burdens lighter because you divide them. It makes joys more intense because you share them. It makes you stronger, so you can be involved with life in ways you dare not risk alone. Selfishness has no place in a lasting relationship. Happiness is what each of you should seek for the other. Ask less for yourself than you are willing to give. Love can be shown by a word or touch or two thoughts entwined as one. In every relationship trust is very important, never break that trust.

 

Happiness in marriage is not something that just happens. A good marriage must be created. In the Art of Marriage: The little things are the big things. It is never being too old to hold hands. It is remembering to say “I love you” at least once a day. It is never going to sleep angry. It is at no time taking the other for granted; the courtship should not end with the honeymoon, it should continue through all the years. It is having a mutual sense of values and common objectives. It is standing together facing the world. It is forming a circle of love that gathers in the whole family. It is doing things for each other, not in the attitude of duty or sacrifice, but in the spirit of you. It is speaking words of appreciation and demonstrating gratitude in thoughtful ways. It is not expecting the husband to wear a halo or the wife to have wings of an angel. It is not looking for perfection in each other. It is cultivating flexibility, patience, understanding and a sense of humour. It is having the capacity to forgive and forget. It is giving each other an atmosphere in which each can grow. It is finding room for the things of the spirit. It is a common search for the good and the beautiful. It is establishing a relationship in which the independence is equal, dependence is mutual and the obligation is reciprocal. It is not only marrying the right partner, it is being the right partner.

 

David and Amber, today you are about to make promises to one another. Today, these vows are beautiful words representing even more beautiful intentions. But you will find that as you live these vows over the years, investing your time and your love and your commitment to one another, the happy times of your life will be twice as joyous, because there will be someone to share those joys with. And when life gets tough, it will only be half as bad, because there will be someone by your side to carry the burden. For those times when life presents all of us with challenges, I would like to offer you the serenity prayer to remember: God grant me the serenity to accept the things that I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.

 

 

Consent

 

David, Do you give yourself totally to loving Amber, striving to do whatever you can to help her feel happy and secure, treating her with kindness, understanding and respect throughout your lives?

 

Amber, Do you give yourself totally to loving David, striving to do whatever you can to help him feel happy and secure, treating him with kindness, understanding and respect throughout your lives?

 

 

Vows

 

I, David take you Amber for my lawful wife from this day forward to have and to hold, as equal partner in my life to whom I give my deepest love and respect. I humbly open my heart to you as sanctuary of warmth and peace where you many find a refuge of love and strength.

 

I, Amber take you David to be my partner in life. I will cherish our friendship and love you today, tomorrow, and forever. I will trust you and honor you. I will love you faithfully through the best and the worst through the difficult and the easy. What may come I will always be there. As I have given you my hand to hold, so I give you my life to keep so help my God.

 

Ring Exchange

 

The wedding ring is the most significant ring a person wears in this day and time. Above all rings the wedding rings denote purity, loyalty, and spirit grace. It is made of the purest metal to speak of the purity of the marriage and is made in a circle to note the never ending commitment you are about to enter.

 

Amber, I give you this ring in solemn token and pledge of my constant faith and abiding love whom I will cherish above all others forevermore.

 

David, I give you this ring in solemn token and pledge of my constant faith and abiding love whom I will cherish above all others forevermore.

 

 

Prayers and Blessings

 

Father, we thank you for this beautiful day and thank you for David and Amber. We thank you Lord you have brought them safely thus far on their journey. We pray that as you joined their hand and hearts together to become husband and wife that you will bless them. Pray that you will give them strength and courage as they face all the tasks and decisions that lie before them. We also pray Lord that you bless these rings that he and she wear and may they ever bide in your peace living together in unity, love and happiness with good purpose to do your will. This we pray in your name. Amen.

 

Closing

 

These two lives are now joined in one unbroken circle. Wherever they go, may they always return to one another in their togetherness. May these two find in each other, the love for which all men and women long. May they grow in understanding and in compassion. May the home that they establish be such a place of sanctuary that man will find there a friend. And may these two rings symbolise the spirit of undying love in the hearts of both of them. I now pronounce you husband and wife. You may kiss your bride.